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Locking her way out

19 Jan

“We can never know what to want, because, living only one life, we can neither compare it with our previous lives nor perfect it in our lives to come”

The Unbearable Lightness of Being – Milan Kundera

This picture made me write a song once

So many things going on
through her head
it won’t stop
she won’t go
she has to stay

made her stop
in her life
and it doesn’t feel right
-it’s not right- tonight.

The fields feel right
to her feet,
she walks away
to her own destiny
made up by words
-cozy and warm-
she wishes there was
no need to leave her dream.

… but she has to go… she can’t stay asleep…

She stood by the window
winter had finally come
garden covered in a white dress
prepared to marry the cold

she had nowhere to go
no cause to fight for
she was finally decided
but now the door was locked

she stopped her plans
and made herself home.

The fields feel right
to her feet,
she walks away
to her own destiny
made up by words
-cozy and warm-
she wishes there was
no need to leave her dream.

… but she has to go… she can’t stay asleep…

No real reason to leave
she would say
no real reason to escape
she would guess

no no
if there’s something to be scared
it’s the lock in her head



24 Dec

My love

30 Nov

I have a love affair with light. With shadows. The bulb is a brush that creates…

the shadows, a stain that hides.

I am manipulative. And it is passive to me. I have a love affair with light.

26 Nov

When the World ends,
I’ll find my way back to myself.

© 2010 MagaSoto

Dreaming Apples

25 Nov

© MagaSoto 2009


Dreaming apples

“Dreaming apples I sleep well,

I see them all around my mind

or whatever it is that projects my life,

in dreams,

the only way life is pure,

purely clean from your conscience,

purely safe from your surroundings,

purely free,

I might say,

although it’s only when you wake up,

and you are able to live your exact same dream,


without fear,

when you see that you are now

whatever it is you wish to be.

Go on, dreamer. Get up.”

Sunday morning

21 Nov

There is something deeply beautiful about waking up every morning in this room. It might be that I’m on my own terms. It might just be that I finally did it to Portland. It might also be that no one is looking, and that I am the observer to break any intimacy. It can also be the fact that this is one of those Sunday mornings, when you realize that this is a day you want to live, even though it might just consist on staying in and watching some lazy movies and listening to music. Whatever it is, I love the sight, the sensation and the lack of company.

This is all I expect from today.

© 2010 MagaSoto

To Portland we go!

30 Oct

This is the day I started my roadtrip to Portland. Dan, Adam and I wrapped up our stuff from Pennsylvania and decided to move across the country. This has been the best decision I’ve made since I went nuts and crossed the Atlantic Ocean to New York. I’ve been immersed inside a hole of thick blackness, depression and suicidal thoughts. I learned what went wrong. I abandoned myself into a life that wasn’t mine, and forgot about all the dreams I came to New York for. I fell into a life of dependency, solitude and nihilism, and I looked through myself and learned 10x more about who I am and what I want from life. Now I am back to school after a break of two years, having self-taught myself photography through the art of self-portraiture. I am writing research papers about what I’m reading, learning and hoping to go for. I am in need to travel, write, photograph and change the world. I am in need to love and be loved, but not exclusive to that necessity. I just desire it. I want it. I am a loving person, and I love to be loved back. But I am trying not to depend on it to still be the powerful human being that I am. Cause I am a powerful human being. And I hope to reflect it on all of these self-portraits that I’m sharing with all of you. I show all my weaknesses, my strengths and my deepest desires. And I’d love you to do the same.


Have a good weekend, and enjoy Mallary’s week! (Starting out tomorrow!)